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I am one of those types of people who grew up reading voraciously and having had an English major in my mother, how we spoke grammatically, how we enunciated; the verbs, adjectives and nouns we used, well, it felt like we were always in school ! Needless to say, I have had so many opportunities in my life to learn that HOW we speak to another person and how we write a message that is either private or public, must be very precise. I once was on the rise towards a strong managerial position in my former career. This meant taking a slew of continuing education classes in behaviour, supervision, management, and more. Looking back, I am very grateful I had those opportunities and also wish all those hours could have been applied to college credits. Having retired earlier than expected, I did not get to use all that education in my professional career - I DID get to put all that education to work in the raising of my children, and in my many personal lives in the real world. Sometimes it catches me by surprise when what I write gets misinterpreted. And I have to remind myself, that the sender of the message and the message itself, are ONLY as well intended, as the receiver who reads and interprets the message. Thus the flow of conversation between people that goes back and forth. In a place such as this, where I write my thoughts, sometimes typing so fast to get as much of my thought down and out of my head, there is no feedback on whether or not the message I intended to get across , actually was received in the same manner as it was sent. In obscurity, without comments or discussions about the content of this blog - I can only hope that whoever does read these missives, might take the time therefore, to Not Use Filters of their own personal experience or from their own database, and try to - as Objectively as Possible, simply R E A D what is written, and try not to read to deeply. I certainly provide enough of the deepend by expounding proliferatively. To that end, Don Miguel Ruiz, does provide some very good instructions on how to write, how to transmit and how to receive, any messages. I think I will look for another of his to post here - his 5 Truths ... well maybe 4 to start, I now he issued a 5th:
Be Impeccable with Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
A Mandala:
Someday I hope to watch the Tibetan monks write a mandala with colored sands - they are so intricate, and then they take the mandala to the ocean and in washing the mandala out to sea, all the wishes, hopes and prayers are sent to Heaven by way of the currents of time, for attention from the Universe.
Last night I had a lengthy healing discussion with my dad, after wishing him a Happy Birthday. And I realized, through his coaching, that I have been sending myself some unhealthy messages. I have been experiencing fear and the realization that the dreams or hopes that I had harbored as a child of what my life would be like at this stage are so shattered as to be unrecognizable. AND that this does not mean that I have failed. This does not mean that I somehow threw my life away because of past decisions. Our life is exactly what we make of it every time an opportunity knocks on our door. And the choices we make every time we open each door are ours to own. We own it, we speak it, we live it. And we must be honest about our decisions. We must not lie, cheat, steal, beg or borrow license from anyone else in owning our choices. Last night I realized that I had projected onto someone I love dearly and who made a choice that limits some future options as opposed to other options - my own feelings of powerlessness and disappointment. I asked him to forgive me and I hope he does. As I approach 51, I realize, actually it has been rolling around in my head, and I did not want to really "write it down" which would make it "truth" ... that I am so frustrated that I still have to work for another 20 years or so. After putting in my 30 years, I was feeling disappointed that I do not get to retire now and live each day as I would please. The simplicity of what my father said does not escape me. From his side of the family, all my ancestors worked the land as farmers of vast acres of pear and apple orchards, creating new and unique ways to make their living easier, or in factory careers until they could not continue to do so. There was no such thing as retirement. There are, to their credit - many inventions from my dad's side of the family, still in use today. The same is not so true on my mothers side of the family and that is more due to the ancestors being more in the thinking game of life. Teachers, lawyers, scientists etc. who worked for corporations big and small and at a certain age, retired and began their second lives travelling and enjoying grandparenting and all that. That I have always wanted to be a traveller is in no small way a huge credit to the stories I have heard from both sides of my ancestral lineage and also to the wonderful stories I would Read of voyagers and travellers who Saw the World ! As dad pointed out, science is making great strides in expanding our lives healthfully, and working another 20 years does not preclude that I may one day be able to do the same and see my ancestral homelands. Meanwhile, there is nothing standing in my way of short trips to look for seashells along the seashore, while I make the monies I will need to support my own retirement, in another 20 years or, whatever may become the new minimum age to do so. To Get There, I have to rewrite the program in my head and wash away to the currents of time, this outmoded thought process, that I "could" have gotten here after 30 years and earned the right to stop and smell the roses. For there is nothing preventing me from smelling the roses every day, while I continue to work, as my ancestors have done for hundreds of years. Times have changed. My life took drastic changes in the direction it went. I must be more flexible and make the changes in my attitude about MY future and go about creatiang it. Very sobering and very emotional conversation. It is rather petty to want to be someone else. The reality is, that I want to be the very best ME that I can be, and right now, that includes continuing to work so that I can LIVE my life rather than simply Existing from month to month scraping by. Here is another wonderful quote to end this missive with.
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
A Mandala:
Someday I hope to watch the Tibetan monks write a mandala with colored sands - they are so intricate, and then they take the mandala to the ocean and in washing the mandala out to sea, all the wishes, hopes and prayers are sent to Heaven by way of the currents of time, for attention from the Universe.
Last night I had a lengthy healing discussion with my dad, after wishing him a Happy Birthday. And I realized, through his coaching, that I have been sending myself some unhealthy messages. I have been experiencing fear and the realization that the dreams or hopes that I had harbored as a child of what my life would be like at this stage are so shattered as to be unrecognizable. AND that this does not mean that I have failed. This does not mean that I somehow threw my life away because of past decisions. Our life is exactly what we make of it every time an opportunity knocks on our door. And the choices we make every time we open each door are ours to own. We own it, we speak it, we live it. And we must be honest about our decisions. We must not lie, cheat, steal, beg or borrow license from anyone else in owning our choices. Last night I realized that I had projected onto someone I love dearly and who made a choice that limits some future options as opposed to other options - my own feelings of powerlessness and disappointment. I asked him to forgive me and I hope he does. As I approach 51, I realize, actually it has been rolling around in my head, and I did not want to really "write it down" which would make it "truth" ... that I am so frustrated that I still have to work for another 20 years or so. After putting in my 30 years, I was feeling disappointed that I do not get to retire now and live each day as I would please. The simplicity of what my father said does not escape me. From his side of the family, all my ancestors worked the land as farmers of vast acres of pear and apple orchards, creating new and unique ways to make their living easier, or in factory careers until they could not continue to do so. There was no such thing as retirement. There are, to their credit - many inventions from my dad's side of the family, still in use today. The same is not so true on my mothers side of the family and that is more due to the ancestors being more in the thinking game of life. Teachers, lawyers, scientists etc. who worked for corporations big and small and at a certain age, retired and began their second lives travelling and enjoying grandparenting and all that. That I have always wanted to be a traveller is in no small way a huge credit to the stories I have heard from both sides of my ancestral lineage and also to the wonderful stories I would Read of voyagers and travellers who Saw the World ! As dad pointed out, science is making great strides in expanding our lives healthfully, and working another 20 years does not preclude that I may one day be able to do the same and see my ancestral homelands. Meanwhile, there is nothing standing in my way of short trips to look for seashells along the seashore, while I make the monies I will need to support my own retirement, in another 20 years or, whatever may become the new minimum age to do so. To Get There, I have to rewrite the program in my head and wash away to the currents of time, this outmoded thought process, that I "could" have gotten here after 30 years and earned the right to stop and smell the roses. For there is nothing preventing me from smelling the roses every day, while I continue to work, as my ancestors have done for hundreds of years. Times have changed. My life took drastic changes in the direction it went. I must be more flexible and make the changes in my attitude about MY future and go about creatiang it. Very sobering and very emotional conversation. It is rather petty to want to be someone else. The reality is, that I want to be the very best ME that I can be, and right now, that includes continuing to work so that I can LIVE my life rather than simply Existing from month to month scraping by. Here is another wonderful quote to end this missive with.
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