When someone treats me as if I am unimportant, I will know absolutely that I am still as important, regardless of their thoughtless treatment. When someone speaks to me as if I am not valuable, I will know with certainty that my value is not diminished by their careless words. When someone acts as if I am not special, I will know without a doubt that no one's callous actions can rob me of my specialness.
No one can steal my worth or take from it. No one can make me feel any less than I know that I am. When I feel hurt by the words or actions of another, I will remember that my worth is not made or added to by any other person. No one's hurtful sticks can scratch me. No one can hurt me unless I allow them to hurt me. No one's stones can harm me. I will remain untouched. When another treats me in a way that is not true to what and who I am, the problem does not lie with me, but rather, it lies with the other person. The problem lies with me only when I am affected by the sticks and the stones and the person attacking me and my worth.
I will always remember that I am in complete possession of my personal worth and I know my own worth. No one will cause my worth to descend. My worth and I continue to ascend. I will not bow. Always, I rise. I am important. I am valuable. And I am special. ~ ~WayPoints by Karen Burch~~
Worth is a funny thing to define. From the Free Dictionary online:
n.
1. The quality that renders something desirable, useful, or valuable: the worth of higher education.
2. Material or market value: stocks having a worth of ten million dollars.
3. A quantity of something that may be purchased for a specified sum or by a specified means: ten dollars' worth of natural gas; wanted their money's worth.
4. Wealth; riches: her net worth.
5. Quality that commands esteem or respect; merit: a person of great worth.
adj.
1. Equal in value to something specified: worth its weight in gold.
2. Deserving of; meriting: a proposal not worth consideration.
3. Having wealth or riches amounting to: a person worth millions.
Only one of the above considers Worth to be something not specifically related to a material possession. Well maybe one of each - Noun #5 and Adj #2. So I will only speak of these, as for material possessions aka monetary value, I do not consider myself worthy in that regard. What little monetary value I have would only be of liquid value were I to cease existing. And there might be enough for a decent funeral as opposed to a pine box. Not being maudlin, it is what it is. I live a very frugal life purposely and be default.
So in Quality that demands esteem or respect; merit. My worth lies in being highly intelligent and quite capable of dissecting an issue and discussing the pros and cons of one. I need not be highly trained in a particular issue to be able to do so. Obviously the more training one has, the more in depth one can be in the dissection. For instance, brain surgery. I could do quite a bit of research and discuss the pros and cons of the subject and even some of the steps to get there. Not being trained to be a brain surgeon, I can only get to a certain point and then lack of experience leaves me unable to go further. Just how delicate does ones' touch need to be. At what microscopic depth does one perform one sectioning versus another. And just How do they repair nerve endings - this baffles me and leaves me in great awe of those who perform these functions as I know without question how important these nerve connections are. My life has become defined by neural connections and the neural dysfunction of FM.
That I ponder issues and research various avenues to become more informed and educated to some extent about a wide variety of concepts is a task I put myself through to keep my mind sharp. My intellect and my ability to function on a day by day basis and remember both rudimentary and finer details in order to live independant of a detailed enumerated checklist so I do not forget certain aspects of my daily life - this has been a goal for many years. I have gotten to the point that I really dislike checklists. I totally get their value when one is dismantling something mechanical. Or if one has to follow a checklist in the workplace in order to complete a task. This to me is quite different than having one that tells me which pills to take at what time, what to eat at specific times of the day, etc. Of late, however, I am reconsidering the merits of having such a list, as I have been rather bad about following the mental list. Another conundrum. I think merit here, in a quality that demands respect - is something given externally. I realize that I could, for instance, quantify this as being a solid 100 or a 4.0 or an IQ of 164 or an absolute value of something close to pretty grand. I do not think I would want to quantify this. I know how smart I am. I know that I amaze myself often by remembering and knowing in a way that assists others.
Taking this further is where I really want to have that merit. I am gifted with a sight or vision that is beyond the normal sensory type. And here is where I prefer to dwell, although, not the best place to be while driving on the interstate. To see the need of another who has pain, has a question of their own, has a task or barrier in front of them and they seek guidance or assistance. Sometimes they may not ask. Sometimes I am rather blunt when I really should just stay out of it altogether. When I am asked and when I do assist is when I feel most comfortable. When my gift of sight beyond seeing, when I go into the future or out of the paradigm of that moment. This is what I love about me. Being able to show others an avenue, a value, an option, an arguement, a detail, a risk or reward - that might not be intellectually, or visibly, or emotionally known to them - I really dig that. Sometimes this causes consternation. Often I see a result or an option, a choice or the consequence of choices coming into a persons life by the way in which they have consistently lived previously, and it is not always prudent to share this information.
Many people do not understand how this gift of mine works, and really I have barely described it. I call it being an empath. Highly sensitive to the multiple dimensions in time and space that surround us at any given moment. Knowing that this field can be changed inexplicably by a thought, word or deed makes what one says and does quite tenuous. Very fibrous. Like the silk of a spider web. This quality comes with a great deal of responsibility and for many years I was unwilling to have that. Knowing ahead, seeing ahead, seeing the unseen, reading the future options, reading other people, understanding and comprehending and acting upon the empath of these alternates, has brought great joy, sorrow and also profound pain. Not everyone accepts that this ability is a gift of great worth. Some view it as a curse. What is the worth of a curse?
In light of my desire to bless all and harm none, having harm turned against or upon me from someone elses place of fear or hate is a very difficult challenge, requiring that I somehow deflect that negativity or recreate it as a positivity. This is the work that requires a great deal of mental challenge and can really sap me. This then is where the Adjective of deserving and meriting come into play. From my perspective, I was gifted with this ultra sense from which I have obtained or gained a great deal of joy and learned from the depths of sorrow how to fine tune and ascribe this gift in ways less deleterious to myself and certainly to others. This is not always an action that is within my purvue however. There have been times when I have not been aware of what was coming at me. There are blindspots and learning how to dissolve these blind spots, sometimes has meant having to locate them in the worse possible way.
I remember one time, in a hand healing, I entered into the other persons reality and found myself in a very tangled web. This person was struggling with many decisions and choices and could have easily untangled himself. At the center and deep below this initial tangle though I came upon a black abyss and I felt a very strong pulling into this black hole. Much like it must be like in space. I could not "see" or "feel" what was within and was unwilling to venture further. In pulling out and extricating from this persons reality, I learned that he was quite happy I had found this black abyss and giddy about my reluctance to enter there. He called this his hell. I guess he had been in and not sure what he brought back with him. My mentor says I could very well have entered and still kept the white light shielding me. There is no Real harm in entering someone else's reality as long as we keep our Self centered,shielded and balanced. At the time then, I was not comfortable enough to go there.
I have since gone into others and it is interesting because the rules change in these black holes. This might be why I am so intrigued by what NASA is learning about the black holes in the Universe, as I believe strongly there is a direct correlation. Each of us being a microUniverse anyway, there is no other explanation I can come up with. We can change the time and space continuum that we exist in and we Can see the multiple paths simultaneously and some of the immediate results of the decisions we make, even if not the longer distance results. This is what can bog me down. And thankfully, I found a message yesterday that helped me straighten this out in sleep state last night. Focusing on just one of these paths, rather than several simultaneously is actually going to take quite a bit of effort. One can become so adept at multi-tasking, that singularity is more of a challenge. I do acknowledge the effort will definitely have reward and merit. I have Got to have more patience and this is difficult.
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